Relationship Therapy in Greenville, SC - Ending the Relationship You Know You Want to Leave

Many people have experienced that feeling of deep inner knowing that a relationship needs to end, and yet may not feel ready or able to begin the process of ending it. Even if you feel certain that you do not want to repair the relationship and that leaving the relationship is the right choice for you, when it comes to the individual therapy process, leaving a relationship does not have to be the first step.

There are many barriers both internally and externally that can keep us in a relationship we ultimately know we do not want to be in. Even when leaving a relationship is physically safe for us to do, there are many attachment wounds and dynamics than can cause leaving to still feel unsafe. When we are in a relationship we do not want to be in and at the mercy of old patterns, it can be incredibly difficult to trust there is something else out there and to navigate the best way out.

It’s hard to imagine something exists that we have never seen or felt before, all we can see is this reality that we’re living in and it’s challenging to imagine a different version of ourselves being able to make different decisions and experience an entirely new outcome, especially when feeling alone in this process.

Many times people attempt to end these relationships on their own without assistance and go through repetitive cycles prior to finally reaching out for help. This delay in reaching out can come from a fear of judgment when not being absolutely certain you are ready or able to walk away or break out of these cycles for good. However, with the consideration of attachment theory, therapists know there is most often work that may need to be done prior to feeling ‘ready’ to end something and making significant and lasting changes to how we function in relationships.

When debating making important changes in our lives, research indicates we tend to focus most on what we will lose and then struggle to connect with what we will gain following the outcome of the decision. Often the work begins with increasing our capacity to experience a felt sense of safety within ourselves and then working toward shifting our beliefs surrounding our identities, relationships themselves, and what we are deserving of. It is then that we work on taking action steps once we feel safe and connected within ourselves enough to do so with more certainty and less fear of the unknown, whatever those next steps may be.

Establishing a strong support system, providing additional resources, and identifying and discussing signs of true safety concerns and having a plan are also important factors that a therapist can help you to establish prior to making or moving forward with any decisions. You do not have to be ready to end the relationship prior to starting therapy. If you are wanting to end the relationship but not feeling ready yet or just struggling with how to do so, individual therapy might be the best place to begin.

At Healing Valleys Counseling, I will help you through the process at your own pace, my goals are your goals, and those goals can transform collaboratively throughout the process. The first step is finding a therapist you trust and feel comfortable with in order to help you as you make the decisions that make the most sense for you and your unique journey!

Contact me below to schedule a session with me, and EMDR therapist in Greenville, South Carolina. I look forward to speaking with you soon!