How to Experience Connection and Belonging When Physically Alone

Imagining ourselves surrounded by a loving presence and permitting ourselves to observe and embrace the positive feelings and sensations associated with this practice allows us to experience feelings of connection and belonging no matter where we are.

The practice of imagining one’s self present with loving figures or symbols of connection and belonging is an EMDR exercise associated with resourcing that can be done in so many different ways. We can do this with people who are living or no longer here, people who we’ve lost contact with over the years, or people who are still in our lives and just not physically present in the current moment. This can be done with a spiritual presence or religious connection. This can be done with versions of yourself including your wisest adult self providing comfort to the part of you that feels alone at this time (a personal favorite of mine). 

We can imagine ourselves sharing light, sharing conversations, comforting touch, whatever feels best for us. We can imagine putting loved ones together in a space with us if that feels comfortable or do this individually. When doing this with a skilled EMDR trained or EMDR certified therapist only, bilateral stimulation would be added in order to calm the nervous system and strengthen the experience being focused on. I do not recommend using bilateral stimulation without a trained professional.

Engaging in this practice does not mean we ignore the difficult feelings. It means finding ways to self sooth and increase comfort in the difficult moments. We cannot always be surrounded by people we love and who love us for various reasons, but the feeling of connection is always available to us. Is this the same as being surrounded by loved ones in real life? No, of course not, but it can provide comfort and help us to avoid shaming ourselves for being or feeling alone.

As we go into the holidays, this internal resource can be helpful in feeling a sense of connection and belonging even in the moments we are physically alone. Of course, we need to be in a space where we feel safe enough in order for this exercise to be effective and we must be able to regulate any difficult emotions that arise. It can be helpful, or necessary for some, to practice this with a trained therapist who utilizes attachment focused EMDR and who is able to help you navigate through any concerns that may arise. 

Please reach out to a therapist near you if you are struggling in this season and in need of additional support at this time. If you are located in Greenville, South Carolina, you can contact me below to schedule a consultation call during this time. Remember, you are never truly alone. 

*This website (healingvalleyscounseling.com) and the information it contains are not a substitute for therapy. This site is not meant to provide treatment advice, only to share general psychoeducational information. Please see the disclaimer section for more information.